Thursday, October 17, 2013
MOTHER; MYSELF $ MINE
I was about ten years old when I promised myself that I would rectify my mother’s life, someday, from what I didn’t know? I understood she cried a lot and that my three, much, older sisters, my father and often other relatives, on my father’s side, including mutual friends criticized Mother all the time? Then these same prosecutors would be praising her glory for the fantastic house party she threw at our cabin on Lake Tahoe; her cooking; the photographs she took; or the Christmas Celebration she created every year where the elite in Sacramento, California politics, law and business would happily attend, while eating and drinking to their heart's content. My mother, Winifred C Kaseberg, was what people today would call a gourmet cook. I’m not sure the word “gourmet” was used in the 1950s or earlier? They would also call her a brilliant leader; she handled just about everything in life with extraordinary ability and good taste!
My mother graduated magna cum laude in English from Stanford University in 1920. She was amongst the few women, in her day, to be so highly educated. She was a beautiful writer of memoir and poetry, a photographer, interior decorator, fashion expert, nature lover, rose gardener, avid reader, traveler, and volunteer. Added to all her talents and abilities she was very witty. Her greatest love, in life, was family and the 80 thousand acre sheep ranch, the Diamond K Ranch, her grandfather purchased during the gold rush, using cash, raising European Merino sheep for wool. My sisters and I were the fourth generation to grow up on this ranch, while my mother, an only child, cared for her beloved white Victorian Mansion and the land it sat upon with, love, capability and finesse, managing the ranch hands, sheep shirring, new construction, repairs, relatives and then throwing a huge catered Thanksgiving dinner, every other year, for three hundred of my father’s closet relatives in the Breuner family. In between all this we went to San Francisco often, to the ballet, musicals, museums and China Town as if she had no stress in her life at all. My mother was truly the best mother and a great example of a good person!
The Breuner family, my paternal side, started here in the United States when my great grandfather came over from Germany in the middle 1800s as a cabinet maker; he worked hauling supplies to the gold miners in the Sierra Nevada’s; In 1856 he created the John Breuner Furniture Company in Northern, California. His work, and extraordinary talent, can still be seen in the 120 desks he personally built, by hand, that the senate and congress use in the Sacramento Capitol today.
Actually my great grandfather Kaseberg, on my maternal side, came over from Germany around the same time and had almost the exact employment as my great grandfather Breuner. However, he chose the ranching business after the Gold Rush.
My mother, as can easily be seen, was very capable, talented and loving, yet people in our family, once most of her relatives were deceased, basically abused her?
My father, Robert A Breuner was the youngest, of five boys, of the third generation to Breuner’s Furniture. They all worked for what became known as “ The Store”. By the time I was paying attention, Dad was Vice President of Breuner’s and there were at least eleven stores throughout Northern California, which would eventually, in my later young years, grow to over forty stores including now Scottsdale, Arizona and Reno, Nevada...eventually sold in 1978 to Marshall Fields.
Dad's greatest love in life was money and prestige and fortunately he had both, because of the successful, lucrative business he came from and worked for. He claimed to love the Sierra Nevada’s; snow and water skiing, camping, his wonderful Airedales; family; his daughters, (two of which are step daughters), movie making and his nightly Scotch. My father was also extremely compulsive in his caring for all the things he owned and with his health; in his Cadillac one could eat off the floor.
Bob Breuner did not like his family business or himself, from where I sit today, but lets move on and see what you think?
My father barely completed college, because as he said, “I hated school.” I don't hold this against him, I hated school too and there are many people who are more successful in life by not having a college education. But I believe my father thought less of himself, unfortunately.He served in the Army during WWll at a desk because of his bad eyesight. He had a very childish, destructive sense of humor, which over the years, I saw with my own two eyes. Some of the pranks he’d play on his friends and family were so horrid one wondered how he didn’t get himself killed from his victim’s rage. But, he didn’t, people just seemed to love him no matter what he did.
In all my years until my father died, when I was 21 years old, I never heard anyone say anything negative about him...ever. Still today no one has a negative word. Yet, he did some very cruel things to my mother and me. Today I understand why? He was jealous!
As my father used to say, "Well Hell, Gawd Dammit" with a huge jovial smile upon his face and a preface to something important, such as, if I were to say this, "I love my dad, always have and always will", I'm just getting to the truth, here, so we can have a happy family; I can see the lies have now affected my beautiful daughters, which obviously also affects my grandchildren. How can it not? Unless, of course, we all learn from history in time.
But my mother, oh my God, family still completely annihilates her character; she had a heart and soul like an angel, talented and creative, while outwardly stunning to look at until the stress in her life finally took it’s toll. I get it today, she bestowed too many capabilities and, I've learned in life since, this is a real problem to most others who know people like my mother.
Mother had one weakness in life that I can see today; she believed, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything atoll” Her favorite quote, “If you don’t pay attention to history, you’re bound to repeat it.” The rest of her life amounted to “performing” what she believed to be a good honest God loving life.
Dad, on the other hand, was Mr. Quote man. I can’t even list them all there were so many, and he repeated them constantly, which made him appear to be ethical, honest, full of integrity and morals. The few quotes I recall the most are, “Family is our greatest asset; family always comes first.” Another, “Don’t get angry; don’t go away mad; get even.” Or how about these, “Actions speak louder than words.” And, “Talk is cheap.”
It would take my own horrid adventure with unaddressed federal crime, and family betrayal, before I would ever get a clue to the evil that has attacked my family of origin and continues today with my own children...some would say we have a family curse. And, if you have ever wondered about God in our lives, or our soul knowing more than we often do, watch what I’m about to point out to you concerning the Breuner/Kaseberg family, which you might see in your own lives, while not understanding what the hell is going on?
It could save your finances and sanity to know and understand; God has saved my sanity and been with me all the way; even though there have been many times I wondered? I've seen and experienced so much ugliness, in the name of family, when all I ever wanted was love, acceptance and the chance to give it back.
So my mother took me to the city, often, to fill me with culture and shop for September back-to-school-clothes. In November we’d return to the city to go to Podesta’s Nursery purchasing the most stunning Christmas Ornaments I’ve ever seen...then onto Gump's to admire jewelry in the window, when my mother would say lifting her index finger to her lips, “ Shush, If anyone’s asking what to get me this Christmas, look Deborah this would be it” as she’d now point her finger at a beautiful Jade ring or bracelet and her eyes twinkled in delight like a small child. Then back to the Cliff Hotel for a hot turkey sandwich for me; crab salad for mom. By 5:00 PM we’d catch a cab for an early night at the ballet...her favorite, now mine, Russian Ballet.
My father, in the summers, had me behind our Chris Craft boat on Lake Tahoe water skiing before I was five years old; in winter we’d be at Granlibakken Ski Resort, before graduating to Squaw Valley, just outside Tahoe City. I believe I started skiing here at three years old. My mother was often with us just so she could take pictures; actually my dad never skied with me but once as I recall? His back you know. But he too would stand at the bottom of the hill taking 16 MM movies.
As you can see, I had a great life, as far as an outsider would see, but beneath the surface were “twisting tales a weaving.”
And, even when I was very young I could feel something bad, however it was there practically from the first moment of life, I remember, so it felt bad but normal...if this makes any sense?
Dad use to announce what he called “family meetings” from as far back as when I was about seven years old. These meetings, however, didn’t involve any more family members but two; he and whatever daughter picked first to talk with him. Unless it was a complete emergency, it would always be me first, then my next sister, Kitty, Jennie and lastly the oldest, Winnie. By the way, none of my sisters lived at home after I turned six years old. The two oldest were married by then; Kitty was in boarding school, Castilleja near San Francisco. Besides this my two older sisters are my fathers’ stepdaughters, but you'd never know because my two oldest half sisters, then and still today, think my father was and is God.
So the first “family meeting”, usually monthly, with me would be at the Rosemount Grill in Sacramento where dad would allow me to order my favorite, hot turkey sandwich and lettuce wedge with thousand island dressing. I can see today, this was his manipulation of my mind. He knew I was a six year old in heaven with this treat; Dad would always order a steak with steak sauce. As we ate I would quickly, almost always, notice a problem with what, I believe now, was a digestion issue when I’d hear my father say, “ I just don’t know what I’m going to do with your mother? She’s killing me with her drinking; she’s an alcoholic and I’m letting you know that I’ve got a judge’s order to have her committed. Do you know that it’s her fault that I’m only a vice president at ‘The Store’? I was offered the presidency and didn’t take it because your mother is so ill and refuses to admit her problem!”
Eventually, over the years, I became very familiar with this so-called “family meeting” while I understood every word. But when I was very young, Dad had to explain things like, “judge’s order”, “alcoholic” and “committed.” At one of these meetings, I asked as tears ran down my face, “But, Dad you drink Scotch highballs every night; I see you drink a lot of them, I never see Mom drink anything but water with lemon in it?” He responded with, “She hides it all; drinks when no one is looking! In fact this is the sign of an alcoholic...drinking in secret.” So I guess my father slamming down six highballs, in less than a half hour, in front of God and everyone made him not an alcoholic? I wondered about this but would only get in deep trouble if I asked? Today I realize this was his manipulation technique. "Hide in plain sight," something my father was very good at apparently.
To make a long story short, as the years went by, I asked a lot of questions, because there was a part of me that didn’t believe my father? Yet my mother spent more and more time in mental hospitals by judges’ orders, in other words, by the orders of Dad’s friend the judge. But of course I didn’t get just how beneficial a powerful judge/friend could really be in helping my father commit my mother to hospitals and also, as I would eventually understand, give my father power of attorney over my mothers’ assets. My sisters, on the other hand, believed every word, my father told them about our mother, and I literally watched my father, slowly, turn our whole family against her? It was horrible, although not as horrible as I would eventually understand, as his motive.
Mother would be troubled by all this for a time, and then manage to make friends with the hospital staff and before you’d know it, she’d be out of the hospital; home giving herself a welcome home party, with all the family friends invited; inviting all her doctors and nurses too, who while dining on Mother’s fabulous lamb stew, would be chatting away with both my parents’ friends about how there was nothing wrong with her:>) This is how Mother handled what most people, today, would see as “taking my father’s abuse” and not fighting back; but now I understand. My mother knew if she fought back, my father and his prominence and prestige would possibly land her in a worse situation? She had no family of origin left and there was something else going on that would have destroyed her life if she did anything but make the best of things as they were until something big changed. So she figured out a way, in her mind, how to get a message across to others through bringing friends and acquaintances together the best way she knew how; a dinner party.
Meanwhile, as I grew in height and wisdom, my father would punish my mother, still further, with leaving for months at a time, to live at the Senator Hotel, in downtown Sacramento. Mother, wouldn’t say one mean word about him, although she had every right, he was using these adventures against her, so he could be with his lover, Doris.
And, by the time I was thirteen, my father made sure I was stuck away in a boarding school. I’d say today, because I was learning too much about him; was my mother’s true support system, while Dad being pleased all my mother's family of origin relatives were gone, he couldn’t have me lagging about upsetting his plans. Oh and he had plans, unbeknownst to me, that were well executed already; they needed to be finalized while he had every prominent leader between Sacramento, California and San Francisco helping him; including financial institutions.
Actually some of this understanding is after the fact information; yes after I grew up, married and raised children; watching two of my beautiful daughters marry; and the last enter college. Sadly, I missed my last daughter’s graduation from college and her wedding:>(I had been exiled from my whole family by then. At this time all I understood still about my mother was that my father purposely, and unfairly annihilated her character to allow himself to feel better about himself; probably because of the affair he had with Doris; I did not know the whole truth but I was about to find out at around 50 years old.
Funny, another quote my father flapped his lips with constantly was, “Life ain’t fair kiddo; get use to it.” And, “You don’t have to do anything in this life but pay taxes and die.” Whoa, interesting now that I know what I know, and experienced what I have. In fact, my father’s soul was screaming to tell the truth, while his mind did everything it could to blame my mother for his own inadequacies. The truth was in his very precious quotes! His biggest give-away was, "Family is your greatest asset Debbie dear; Family always comes first." Yep, he loved those assets!
On October 13, 1997 while scuba diving off the Grand Cayman Wall, at 150 feet, in the Cayman Islands, I was left to die at the hands of my loving husband of twenty-four years. And, we had a good marriage full of joy, beautiful children; grandchildren; beautiful homes, travel, romance, Thursday evening date nights and all the money anyone would ever need. Apparently something was lacking and this was the first time I’d even considered what it might be? Well that’s not totally true; I had seen some odd changes in, my then husband, Richard L. Davis II; he’d become ever so compulsive, slowly over the years. I figured he was stressed from work, which he often complained about and, nearing his fifties, I feared he may have a girlfriend; most of his friends were enjoying such, so why wouldn’t he? The difference was, his friends left their wives and arrogantly took up with their girlfriends. Rick had just tried to murder me? And, this after he had said the day before, “We’re so lucky that we’re still together and in love; so many marriages end at this point; after the kids are all grown up.” I had agreed with him; started to think my fears of he having a girlfriend were obsurd…until now.
I was sure Rick had a girlfriend just like my father had; somehow I'd hoped I had prevented such by what I’d learned from watching my parents; I felt experienced in not creating the need for my husband to want a girlfriend; not that my mother did anything wrong, I married a more ethical, moral man. Ha!
Little did I realize what I was about to understand just four short years later. First of all, I’m sure you have heard how women often marry their fathers, meaning men just like them, whether they intended to do so or not.
And, yes my husband Rick reminded me of the good things about my father when we first met; snow skiing, water skiing, love of the outdoors, being part of a family business, while in my mind, at the time, he appeared to be far more ethical, reliable and moral. But, later in our marriage Rick became compulsive like my father had become, and also like my father he picked on the daughter who asked the most questions and had extraordinary talent. Being who I am I set out to learn all I could about this ugly syndrome and found jealous men often pick on very talented bright daughters because they unconsciously covet the soul of where this talent comes, while they were, by their unconscious parents, not allowed to use their talent. They were instead forced into family businesses against their will. Hum, I think this was my father's problem too.
Later in my life, while still married to Rick, I realized he hated his family business,as my father hated his and understood one of the reasons for this was because they were both forced into honoring their heritage by working for their family businesses. At one point in Rick and my marriage, I offered to go into business with him; you know, my creativity and his business sense, which at the time I actually believed he had? We would utilize my funds to do this. He never said "no" he merely ignored me and instead embezzled my funds with the help of a number of financial institutions.
However four years after my husband and my divorce, I uncovered not only my now ex-husbands indiscretions and federal crimes, but realized who my father actually was and why he treated my beautiful mother as he had, and often times me as well.
What did my father and my ex-husband, Rick have in common the most? That would be their weaknesses; including a weakness I didn’t know my father had, Greed! I did know about his girlfriend Doris, which he arrogantly flaunted in my mother’s face; was very public about; using my mother’s so-called-mental-illness as his excuse to the public for his actions, so they wouldn’t scrutinize his behavior and consider him immoral, I see now. Instead he turned this around with his manipulation by subtly dropping hints to family, including his daughters, and friends about Mother’s state of mind. And, it worked! There's that hide in plain sight thing again, as I look back.
Funny, although everyone noticed and teased these sociopaths, both my father and Rick, because of their compulsive behavior, no one considered it what it was but me? A cover-up for something deeper. But what, I wondered then? Well this was my guess, and when I'd make comments about it I was told how stupid I was, by my father when I was young; by Rick in our later years of marriage.
Mother was extremely wealthy, in her own right, but she rarely ever said a word about this. Remember what I said about what she lived by, “If you don’t have something nice to say; don’t say anything atoll”? Well Mother felt talking about money was inappropriate conversation. So I guess this falls into a subject that’s not nice? And, I can see where I have been much the same in this regard. I didn't make a big deal to anyone I've ever known about my wealth, when I had it, I didn't feel it was appropriate conversation and it, in my mind, would undermine my husband , at the time, who was working hard, I thought, to make a mark in his family business. Ha!
Apparently, my lack of discussing my assets amongst friends and family, such as with my daughters,, led to Rick being able to turn my beautiful daughters against me more easily. He has actually convinced them that I was spending HIS money while we were married and he had to get rid of me or I'd have spent the whole family into the ground! Hum, I believe I recall my father telling the same tale concerning my mother!
And, unbeknownst to me until I found out about my now ex-husbands greed, he also had a girlfriend; but this girlfriend was a money manager, while my father's girlfriend a family friend. What a way to hide in plain sight, uh? I just can't get over this! Anyway, Rick's girlfriend, Lauren was apparently a liaison between the financial institution and my then husband, helping embezzle, extort and launder my trust account to the tune of 80M$s into his failing business, Davis Industries which he then sold to Tesma International a number of years AFTER we divorced. When we were still married, the money was almost all gone, and Rick felt he could no longer lie to me as to why, he attempted to murder me. Only I lived which has made life very complicated for Richard L. Davis II and his money manager wife Lauren S. Davis.
Today, in order for Rick to hide his greed and federal crimes he merely calls me mentally ill and nuts, while having no problem telling my beautiful daughters this as well. In fact judging how this saga resembles my mother’s life so much, I’d venture to guess Rick had been dropping subtle hints to my daughters, behind my back, for years about my lack of sanity. Because to create parental alienation takes a long steady stream of constant lies in order to twist, especially a daughter, away from her mother using a Hitler style psychological profile, such as these primary rules: never allow the public to cool off; never admit a fault or wrong; never concede that there may be some good in your enemy; never leave room for alternatives; never accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time and blame him for everything that goes wrong; people will believe a big lie sooner than a little one; and if you repeat it frequently enough people will sooner or later believe it.
The funny part about this, is all my daughters would have to do is look at the list of assets on a document I still have, signed by our now Justice Anthony M. Kennedy.
My father committed the same crimes against my poor mother, and for the same reason, to embezzle all her funds, only he did it by getting power of attorney from his buddy the judge, while keeping Mother drugged and in mental hospitals. He probably tried many times to overdose her with medication but somehow she overcame. Still, my mother knew there was nothing she could do to break away from this; she’d end up in the streets by my fathers’sociopathic lies and what attorney or judge would support her over a prominent Sacramento/San Francisco businessman, a Mason; a Shriner and on the Board of Directors of a number of banks in the 50s and 60s? I know this now from my own experience! There is still prejudice against women today; it's just gone underground. My mother, although many couldn’t help but love her, they had to do so behind the scenes. Women weren’t allowed the power she had in the 50s...as a rancher. So they certainly weren’t going to support her emotionally; she was on her own. She had me, while I didn’t believe a word my father said about her, but I didn’t have the full picture to what was going on?
What’s truly sad about all these jealous men and their greed; is they not only ravish financially but more importantly they destroy family relationships. Metaphysically speaking, it’s natural for daughters to receive their own self worth through the way their father treats them. These greedy men, such as my father, my two ex’s and my great aunt’s husband, actually take the power they naturally have with daughters and use it to twist their prospective of their mothers so they can rob them. They also cause these daughters to spend their lives wondering if they too are mentally ill, like their mother is supposedly, then to find out, way too late, that there’s no mental illness; it’s just jealousy and greed.
My mother sadly died at 62 years old, heartbroken, while my three older sisters, still to this day, believe what my greedy father told them about their mother as he stole her assets with financial institution’s, attorney’s and judge’s help. I mean my sisters should be furious with him; they lost the mother daughter relationship every woman needs, when our mother was still living; my daughter’s have lost the same. We haven’t had a relationship in over twelve years because of their father/stepfathers’ lies and unaddressed federal crimes. And it appears this family curse continues with my grandchildren who range from around seventeen years old to two. The oldest, Clayton may remember me as he was about four when I was exiled, and we had a very good relationship then. I pray my mission will be to break this outrageous cycle.
Yes, and can we see how our USA Government is involved with this too? They allow these federal crimes to go purposely unaddressed for one, and they are in leadership destroying the United States of America with their greed, lack of ethics, integrity and morals, as well.
So the next time you see unjustified blame, against you, consider who is blaming you and what they might be hiding. And, if you think our problems here in America started with this generation, think again. If you believe the politicians are worse today than 100 years ago; think once more, my great aunt and Mother NEVER saw any investigation into the federal crimes committed against them by our attorney general, financial watchdogs or state attorney generals either. My great aunt's financial loss occurred in the very early 1900s; my mother's loss was in the 1950s. And, of course the media weren't talking then either! Corruption has just become much worse because nothing is actually addressed in this country, so the true criminals are our government authorities who do nothing about all the crimes, especially federal crimes, that go on, which is like calling out to the criminals roaming society! "Go ahead, commit any crime you choose; we have your back", while we the people pay taxes for this abuse?
And when I was a child I was constantly criticized, by my father, for not respecting authority!? Good Gawd! Can we believe this? I believe this one fact is what I'd like to see children understand. Sometimes parents, in my case my father, have so much to hide they will destroy the young intelligent mind and soul of their own children! I thank God I still have my mind and the ability to start over. None of these jealous, greedy people, men,women $ so-called-experts, have destroyed me!
By: Deborah Breuner
Heiress Lives In A Tent